Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
