And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
