I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
