just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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