I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
