If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
