Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
