I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
