Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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