I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
