I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
