yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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