I got chris browned last night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
