Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
