I wish I could punch you in the face.
she smelled like a LAN party
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
