I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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