What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
