I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
