dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am midnight drunk by noon
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
