i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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