32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
