I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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