well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
