I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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