Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
