Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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