bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
