You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
