So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
