My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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