That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
