I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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