i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
