Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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