so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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