You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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