Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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