Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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