Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
