To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
True strength comes from lack of pants
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
