dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
