I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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