But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
