I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
