The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
