let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Are we still banned from the library?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
