she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
