worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
