I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
