obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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