areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
