I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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