well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
