a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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