I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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