You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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