i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
